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An Asshole Behind His Steering Wheel

September 29, 2006 | 08:54

fuckoff.pngWhen I got out of the tramway yesterday I was nearly hit by an asshole driver in his extremely gay Peugeot station wagon. And here is some information about the train station Südbahnhof: when you step out of the tramway line D, you have to walk 1.5m on pavement, then cross two street lanes (one for busses and taxis and one for the rest), and then you’re inside the main hall. There’s also a traffic light, fifty metres in driving direction of the street mentioned above, and that traffic light happend to be red when I got out of the tramway yesterday. All the people crossed the street walking between the cars, so I decided in a “Lemming” kind of way to do the same, when that asshole I mentioned before whooped on the gas and tried to hit me. I screamed at him “what the fuck is wrong with you asshole?”. He just started to gesticulate trying to say “how I can even think about walking across the street in front of his car while he has to wait for the traffic light to change from red to green”. I screamed again “I’m gonna punch you right in the face you fucking punk”, then I turned away and walked to the train. Some Afro-Austrian citizen cursed the asshole in Swahili (or some other African slang) right after me. Next time something similar happens to me, I swear I’m gonna pull that guy out of his car and kill him punch him right in the face start a clarifying conversation about his problems with me and the world :-)

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Even Worse Than Goleo

September 27, 2006 | 14:20

em08.pngRemember Goleo, the totally tasteless useless pantless mascot of 2006 Soccer World Championship, and his even more unnecessary sidekick Pille? And when we all thought that it couldn’t get any worse, the new mascots for 2008 European Soccer Championship, which takes places in Switzerland and my home country Austria, were presented to public on Tuesday. It seems that the responsible mascot designers (Warner Bros. - WTF?) haven’t learned anything from the Goleo debacle - well, here they are:

mascot.png

They do not have names yet, but there are three options from which the fans can choose:

  • Zagi and Zigi
  • Flitz and Bitz
  • Trix and Flix

Well, all three options suck, so it won’t matter how fans will call them. Warner Bros. invested more than 4.000(!) hours of work in designing the new mascots, judging from the results they’re either on cocaine or something else.
I would call them Spit and Shit, but I’m not authorised to do so. And I wonder which soft toy company will be ruined this time. Aren’t there any qualified designers left on this planet to do such jobs? And how about the mascots from past Championships?

England ‘66 (World Cup Willie)
england66.png
Mexico ‘70 (Juanito)
mexico70.png
Germany ‘74 (Tip & Tap)
deutschland74.png
Argentinia ‘78 (Gauchito)
argentinia78.png
Spain ‘82 (Naranjito)
espana82.png
Mexico ‘86 (Pique)
mexico86.png
Italy ‘90 (Ciao)
italy90.png
USA ‘94 (Striker)
usa94.jpg
France ‘98 (Footix)
france98.png
Korea & Japan ‘02 (Ato, Kaz & Nik)
korea02.png
Germany ‘06 (Goleo & Pille)
deutschland06.png
Am I the only one starting to see a(n) (awful) design pattern when ever a world championship takes place in Germany? :D World Cup Willie is my personal favourite - a cartoon is always appropriate - followed by Pique, Striker and Footix. Next time someone engages Warner Bros. to design a new mascot within 4.000 hours (that is a total of 100 weeks when working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week), they should consider assigning me instead :-) Within two years anyone should be able to design redheaded sissy twins with one eyebrow each :-D And I certainly hope those two wear pants this time ;-)

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Sweet Swastikas

September 25, 2006 | 14:28

gegennazis.pngAustrian biggest bakery Anker is selling some sweet pastry which just looks like a swastika (or am I just kind of paranoid? :D )

nussspitz.png
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AK47 For Everyone

September 22, 2006 | 12:32

WikipediaGuess what today’s featured article on Wikipedia is about. Correct, the AK47 :D
Today's Featured Article: AK47

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The 400 Richest Americans

| 12:23

forbes.pngJust read on forbes.com that you have to have at least 1 billion $ to be under the top 400. And guess who’s number one, with an incredbile account balance of fifty-three billion - William Henry Gates III. Who? Ah, Bill Gates. Why the hell are there three of them? Probably a version numbering issue. And that number 5, Paul Gardner Allen - one of the founders of Microsoft, owns 16 billion dollars but seems to don’t have enough cash to go to the dentist:

paulallen.png

Man, those teeth look awful…

I couldn’t find any pictures of his wife Polly, but I presume her to look like:

xtina.png

Money can’t buy me love - of course it can! Just remember that E. Pierce Marshall, the deceased husband of Anna Nicole Smith. Not the youngest and handsomest anymore, but a wallet full of cash. So, if you’re single, male and not rich, you better be good looking ;-)

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Mac VS. PC

September 20, 2006 | 11:41

GetAMacDue to the fact that I’ve decided to switch from PC to Mac until Christmas (or after Christmans *wink*), I’ve come across the following Apple commercials :D

Networking

Better

Touché

iLife

Restarting

Virus

Wallstreet Journal

Out Of The Box

Accident

Work vs. Home

Angel & Devil

Trust a Mac

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The Pope, The Islam And A Dead Nun

September 18, 2006 | 12:22

PopeThat pope is one kind of a stupid idiot :-) I expect all my dear readers to have read, or at least heard about what the pope said about the Islam at the University of Regensburg in Germany in his speech. If not here is the short version (saying anything about Islam, Quran or Mohammed, or anything else related is always a bad idea): Pope Benedict XVI quoted imperator Manuel II as the following:

Manuel II said: Show me what Mohammed brought to you and all you will find is foul and inhumane.

And that was a starter’s gun for worldwide discussion about the pope. An italian nun called Leonella and her somalian bodyguard were shot dead recently in Somalia’s capitol Mogadishu. Those homicides were perpetrated as an answer to the pope’s statement, that is what Yusuf Mohamed Siad, security commissioner of Somalia, thinks. This seems to be Level 2 of the Mohammed cartoon conflict.
I mean no catholic ass would itch if some muslim would create a Jesus cartoon, e.g.

cool jesus.png

I’m an atheist, so all religions can kiss my ass, although I sympathise with Buddhism, because Buddha says:

Do whatever you like, as long as you do not harm anyone.

That should be any religion’s credo. And one of mine is:

I dont believe in a god that I need to worship,
I don’t believe that I need to get down on my knees,
I don’t believe in a voice from above can help me,
I only believe in what I can see and the things that I can achieve.
(Clawfinger, Two Sides)

And if you don’t read any new blog entries from now on, then some fundamentalists blasted my head off :-D

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