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Remember Goleo, the totally tasteless useless pantless mascot of 2006 Soccer World Championship, and his even more unnecessary sidekick Pille? And when we all thought that it couldn’t get any worse, the new mascots for 2008 European Soccer Championship, which takes places in Switzerland and my home country Austria, were presented to public on Tuesday. It seems that the responsible mascot designers (Warner Bros. - WTF?) haven’t learned anything from the Goleo debacle - well, here they are:

They do not have names yet, but there are three options from which the fans can choose:

• Zagi and Zigi
• Flitz and Bitz
• Trix and Flix

Well, all three options suck, so it won’t matter how fans will call them. Warner Bros. invested more than 4.000(!) hours of work in designing the new mascots, judging from the results they’re either on cocaine or something else.
I would call them Spit and Shit, but I’m not authorised to do so. And I wonder which soft toy company will be ruined this time. Aren’t there any qualified designers left on this planet to do such jobs? And how about the mascots from past Championships?

England ‘66 (World Cup Willie)

Mexico ‘70 (Juanito)

Germany ‘74 (Tip & Tap)

Argentinia ‘78 (Gauchito)

Spain ‘82 (Naranjito)

Mexico ‘86 (Pique)

Italy ‘90 (Ciao)

USA ‘94 (Striker)

France ‘98 (Footix)

Korea & Japan ‘02 (Ato, Kaz & Nik)

Germany ‘06 (Goleo & Pille)

Am I the only one starting to see a(n) (awful) design pattern when ever a world championship takes place in Germany? World Cup Willie is my personal favourite - a cartoon is always appropriate - followed by Pique, Striker and Footix. Next time someone engages Warner Bros. to design a new mascot within 4.000 hours (that is a total of 100 weeks when working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week), they should consider assigning me instead Within two years anyone should be able to design redheaded sissy twins with one eyebrow each And I certainly hope those two wear pants this time